Saturday, September 3, 2011

Wake, Work, Home, Sleep, Winter

That's my life these days.

Three days a week, I go to one job first, come home for a nap, go to the next job, come home and type something up for you guys, and crash.

Three days a week, I go to the first job, come home, and divide my time between upkeep and art. Maybe walk to the library.

One day a week, Sunday, I laze about the place. Catch up on things. Relax. Exercise if I'm in the mood and don't hurt too much.

That's my life these days. Work, art, sleep. Keeping busy means I don't have to think too much about things that I shouldn't be thinking about. Unfortunately, winter is coming, leaving more than enough time for that sort of thing. My morning job which keeps me so busy and cover two-thirds of my budget is seasonal and comes to an end in October. Fortunately, when I ran my numbers, the first time and every time, I took into account having no income part of the year, not even unemployment, which I really don't like dealing with.

I know I ought to get a job. Every little bit helps, and knowing me, I might go a bit stir crazy. I certainly don't intend on spending all of winter in my apartment. Probably spend most of it in the library--nothing like making the city pay to keep me warm (not that I don't plan on turning on my heat, just not very high).

As for a social life, well... I don't have one. I never have been very good with that sort of thing, especially since I don't socialize at work, and I don't drink alcohol or coffee (and can't stand the smell of either). All of my friends are either online or still trapped in their books. All the people I've dated were friends, and in afterthought, that really wasn't such a good idea, because all of those people are now gone from my life. I am literally running out of friends. I don't meet new people very much.

I'm not shy, I just don't express myself orally very well in unstructured situations. Talking to people at work is easy because I've built myself with scripts. Socializing is too much ad-libbing, which is something I don't do well at all. I prefer the written word to the spoken one; it is so much easier to manipulate into the correct form when I can build an entire concept before releasing it. Even with instant messaging I have more control over what comes out than I do face to face. I catch myself falling into language traps far more often than when I write. Unfortunately, when speaking, I don't notice those traps until they've left my mouth; when typing, I always have the chance to review...

Until I press the carriage return.

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