Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Premarital Fidelity

Why don't I have a problem with sex or kissing before marriage?

It was brought to my attention just a few days ago that the reason one of my former aquaintences doesn't  and won't kiss his fiance before they're married, is because kisses are magical. I won't disagree on that much. There have been people I've dated for whom kissing was better than sex. That may be hard for those who haven't felt it to believe, but for myself, it has been quite true. And the sex is then magnified in its magnificence.

So I understand wanting to spoil the magic that you might get to feel after the ceremony, but what happens if the kiss isn't magical, not the first time or the thousandth? Have you married the wrong person? Do they just need to be taught how to kiss? And remembering that just because they kiss you in the way that fits you best (and hopefully and presumeably you do the same for them), that doesn't mean it's magical for either or both of you.

I'm going to guess that most of these people don't believe in divorce either. What do you do, after doing everything you've tried, from conseling to therapy to classes, you realize they're not the perfect fit? Midllife crisis? Suicide? Infidelity?

I'll kiss before marriage. I'll have sex before marriage. I had a tragic accident in my life that reminded me of my mortality and at that point, I decided to stop holding back so much from life, and be more open to things that happen.

I imagine you might be asking me, if you can  get the milk for free, why buy the cow?

First off, taking "milk" without "buying the cow" even when you're ready and know they're the right fit for you, even if it seems to be "free", it's most definitely not. Many people tend to forget that dignity and honor have values, even if they're not strickly monetary.

Secondly, if you wait to long, you might not be able to find someone when you start to feel your mortality weighing you down and you start thinking about "Legacy". If you like it, then you should have put a ring on it...