Monday, December 20, 2010

This Isn't News Commentary

I don't like to comment on the news, especially when it comes to politics, celebrities (whom I refuse to worship), weather, crime, or much of anything else that asks people to side on one end of the spectrum or the other. I'm a "my own crowd of one" sort of person, and I like to keep it that way.

Sometimes, though< I can't but help crack a serious joke. It will sit in my head for days or weeks, and I never think of it when the right moment comes up in conversation. Parting lines are the same: they come to me when the moment is long past, and I might try to remember, hoping another instance, just right, comes along (more often than not, they don't) but more often I just let it go (and then naturally, the right time comes around again).

This most recent one, though, has been unusually infectious in my mind, constantly popping up when I least wish it to, and hanging around like the seasonal flu virus.

I'm grateful for the forbearance, I won't keep this one up much longer.

I'm sure by now most everybody who pays attention to the stupid things people do that actually make it onto the news has heard of the woman who is claiming to own the sun. She wants people to pay her for using it, and most people just laughed. Charging me for using the sun? Not a chance.

Me? No. I'm not going to believe her, not until she proves it. By proving it, I don't mean showing my the slip of paper signed by her notary that says it's hers, but by the way Nicor shows me it owns my gas lines: if I don't pay my bills, turn it off. When she successfully turns off the sun from nonpayment, I'll pay up, not just the upcoming months', but also all the back charges from before she claimed ownership.

Yes, I'm aware that the sun will go out eventually anyway, but my landlord doesn't wait until I'm dead to kick me out for not paying rent. If that was their policy, I'd stop paying now and save my money for more important things, like getting a notary stamp of my own.