Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Through This Tiny Window, I Can See More of the World Than If I Went Outside

Zydrate comes in a little wave signal.
A little wave signal?
A little wave signal
And the little wave signal goes into my phone through the antenna
And my Zydrate phone goes somewhere against my anatomy
And when the phone goes off, it vibrates, and I'm sucked into the rabbit hole.
-Adapted from "Zydrate Anatomy" from Repo: The Genetic Opera

They say some people can cross just by holding their hands out in front of them, index fingers and thumbs forming a ring. Through that ring is all most people see, all they can see, all they want to see. Especially when they're holding their cell phone.
-Adapted from "The First Time" by Ace Edmonds

I am a serious digital media user, such that, if there was a support group, my family and friends would sign me up like it was AA. My phone goes with me everywhere: school, work, under my pillow when I sleep, even when I'm in the bathroom. If there's something I need access to, it come out, and I'm almost immedaitely connected. The internet is at my fingertips (except for the content that's blocked to mobile access, but there are ways around that).

I've always been a supporter of escapism, using media, technology, and my imagination to transport me away from where I am physically present. It very much is a defense mechanism that I've perfected into a way of life. I have more friends on the internet, more places to hang out; I find I have a louder voice, and even though there are more people on the web in any one location trying to be heard, it is far easier to deliver my message to the masses, or to anyone, than if I stayed in this place, in this physical condition.

Does this affect my sense of time? Absolutely. It allows me to transport myself to a place where I can feel the time slipping away, when the other physical presenses around me are itching to get moving. All I need to do is close my eyes, and take a little tour around my ever abundant subconscious.

But can I slow time down? Alas, though I have tried, I have largely found myself unable to make time feel like it is passing by more slowly. However, with the right tools around me, I can get more tasks done in a small amount of time. Technology (when it's behaving) amplifies my effeciency.

Think of when you dream, if you remember any of your dreams. Inside the dream, time can feel like it's passing regualr speed, and days pass by. If you're aware that you're dreaming, you may (as I have) get the sensation that you've been asleep for too long and shouldn't your alarm be going off by now? There is a serious time-dialation inside the subconscious, similar to how a computer can perform so many calculations in a second. With practice, you can harness that in the waking and day-dreaming world and get worlds of work done while waiting for the bus.

When I was little, before I started harnessing the power of my imagination and subconscoius (and before I realized that it was okay to close my eyes in public), I counted. Ceiling tiles, wall slats, threads in the carpet, everything around me, I counted to keep my mind running and entertained, to help time pass by justa little more quickly.

Is my sense of identity altered through this medium? Through dreams? Without a doubt. Through technology? Certainly, though perhaps not quite to the same extent. I can read volumes while waiting for my appointment, learn and argue politics while students around me finish their tests, change my point of view a dozen times over while brushing my teeth. Every time that I read something that I didn't know about, or read something through someone else's point of view, I change my sense of identity.

I can do all of these things, and I have done most of them (expect for the brushing-of-the-teeth part), and I am contantly finding myself more and more drawn into using technology both actively and passively in my life, and as more becomes available and higher degrees become more affordable, I may find at some point in my life that I can survive with minimal physical contact, and work and live almost wholey on the web.