Sunday, April 3, 2011

The Dreamer's Disease is A Nasty One

And I've been infected for a long time.

With the completion of "When War Arrives" I took steps to excessively market myself to bring the piece more popularity, trying to use it to heighten my own visibility in the online-art-community-world, and it didn't work. The piece wasn't "good enough" for the elitist gate-keepers.

I slumped. Thought about stopping my submissions altogether. I'd keep writing by all means,... but that's just not my style.

I'm still writing, still submitting, but I'm done marketing myself. I'm going to tone down on the group submissions, and if people want to find me, they'll find me when they're ready.

Sure, I'm still reaching for the stars, but I'm going to do it my way, a way that feels right to me, and anyone who doesn't see that as a working, successful policy can go join the hordes of people I've left and am leaving in the dust.

People will still look at my art community accounts and say "You're popular, look at the sheer number of page-views that you have." I'll look and remind them how long I've been doing this, how many pieces I've written, and if you do the math, it's really not that big of a number after all.

This is not about numbers. I keep losing sight of that. If it was about numbers, this place ought to be named Dream Bigger. It's not. It's named Dream Classier. Sure, I could sell my soul and writer like popular artists and be big, but I'd lose my classiness. I'd lose sight of the reason I came here to do all these things that I've already done, and never get around to do those things that I hope to do. And it wouldn't be me doing them; it would be a shadow of myself, trying to become someone else, someone that wasn't true to me.

Keep dreaming, and keep it classy.