Thursday, April 21, 2011

I Have A Problem

Actually, I have more than one, but I'm just focusing on the one today: Food.

There are plenty of people out in the world who get joy from eating, or use eating as a mental-comforting tactic. I do not.

I eat to keep myself going. I eat because I have to, not because I enjoy it. Now, I'm not saying there aren't foods out there that I love to eat, as there are, but I don't get any joy, entertainment, comfort, or otherwise from the act of eating.

I have mild hypoglycemia. I eat because I'm hungry, because my sugar level is down, because my body needs the sustenance. Unfortunately, sometimes that means I have to force myself to eat, because I'm not hungry for anything. I've had a small cup of yogurt for lunch today; I'm hungry, but nothing sounds good.

I'm not anorexic, I don't have any eating disorders, just mild depression that sometimes eats away at the smaller aspects of my life when I'm not paying attention. Sometimes, I can be chronically apathetic, ad I know it's unhealthy, but so is finding joy in eating, especially when it leads to over-eating. I have little to fear about that.

Forcing myself to eat isn't fun, and I don't know how to make myself more committed to eating. If you have any ideas, I'd love to hear them.