Sunday, April 24, 2011

On Sharing Secrets

We all have issues. Don't be afraid to admit it. Don't be too afraid to tell others about them either. They'll understand as long as you do it right.

There are three types of people in this world:

First, there are those who are happy to share all their problems and issues, and are usually ignorant to the ways this affects the people around them. All too often, they scare people off because they share too much information, or attract the wrong kind of attention by sharing their vulnerabilities to people who are most likely to take advantage.

Second, there are the people who are afraid to share anything, because they think everyone will react how they think they would react if they were told. Eventually, your issues will come out, especially to those closest to you, and when that happens, if it's unexpected, it may likely scare them away.

Third, there are people who walk the line. I've got issues and problems and behaviors that most other people would never approve of, and yet I have shared them and gotten away with it. People continue to accept me the way I am, or they don't, but I don't suffer for it.

How do I get away with it?

Everything has a right time and a right place and a right context and a right way to be shared. I can usually tell, and every time I get it right or wrong, it adds to my experience and makes me better and wiser the next time. I'm a writer and an artist, so I'm practiced at manipulating language and images to evoke and control emotions.

I've met all types of people. Usually I get along best with people like me who fall into the third category, and not at all with the people who fall into the first category. I try to get to know people before I learn about their issues, and then try not to judge them for them. Those issues that we all have make us who we are, and if I have no qualms about their personality, I have no reason to be overtly judgmental of the issues that helped form it, regardless how controversial or offensive they are.