Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Who Are You And Why Do You Want To Be In My Thoughts?

I don't care you what you think,
as long as it's about me.
The best of us can find
happiness in misery.

-"I Don't Care" by Fall Out Boy

I wake up every [morning]
with a big smile on my face
and it never feels out of place,
and you're still probably [schooling]
at a [class-a-day] pace.
I wonder how bad that tastes....
Tomorrow you'll be thinking to yourself
"Yeah where'd it all go wrong?"
but the list goes on and on.
-Adapted from "Gives You Hell" by All-American Rejects

I don't like talking about people who don't deserve the attention, because they barely deserve the time and focus it takes for me to scorn them. When I burn bridges, you can't even see the old pylons that once held it up.

But it looks like I may have to make an exception, because this one just doesn't get it.

I have a place of my own these days, out from the nest, and damn it feels good. I'm not rubbing your face in it, not trying to make you feel jealous or anything. What do I have to feel jealous of? I'm working harder than ever and you're sloughing off. Maybe you think that I'm "free" but I have more responsibilities than ever. But since I don't care about you anymore, why would I rub it in your face.

Here's the answer:

You are your own worst enemy. You are rubbing your own face it in. I'm living me life like I want to, like I can, and it does not include you. You are following behind like a lost puppy that thought I was it's owner just because I picked it up off the side of the road long enough to get it into a shelter. That's mercy.

You climbed the cages and escaped from the shelter. Any trouble or pain you get into isn't on my shoulders. I gave up guilt for Lent many years ago and I've never gone back. I feel no guilt for any pain that you get into, no joy that you're hurting, nothing; I don't care. I don't even think of you except when you run in front of cars on the road and mess up traffic.

Okay, so that metaphor isn't perfect, but then no metaphor is.

Where's [mommy's] picket fence, love?
[daddy's] shiny car?
Did it ever get you far?
You never seemed so
[dense], love
I've never seen you
[fail] so hard,
Do you know
[what] you are?