Wednesday, June 29, 2011

You Can Stop Pretending

It has come to my attention that people don't actually like me. They pretend in my presence that they find my jests funny, my conversation stimulating, my existence worthwhile.

This, surprisingly, doesn't bother me; I've done a little "soul searching" as it were, since I learned of this, and come to that conclusion. My only question is:

Why is everybody so dedicated to this charade?

If it was just for civility, I would understand, but they go so far beyond plain civility. You can be civil to me without being encouraging.

Maybe I just "cast a spell" on them. Is my presence intimidating? I know I don't really "fit" in social settings, up to and including work. When I do "fit," I can feel it; there's a sensation or possibly an emotion--I can't describe it well--when everything just meshes. Unfortunately, it doesn't happen often.

If you don't like me, tell me so I can stop putting so much effort into pretending I belong, and you can stop putting effort into pretending you enjoy my company. Really, I do have other things I can put that effort into than trying to socialize with people who really aren't interested in it.