Tuesday, August 16, 2011

State of Being

And there was never any place
For someone like me to be
Totally happy
I'm running out of clock and that
Ain't a shock
Some things never do change
-"Cavanaugh Park" by Something Corporate

I'm not afraid that I might not find someone for me to be happy with, or find a place where I can have a career, but I do think it's a sad thought.

I'm doing pretty good on my own for someone who is just trying to get by. I have an apartment that's nothing pretentious, serves my needs without any unnecessary frills. I have a job that satisfies the data-junkie side of me, encouraging me to learn all I can and then some to better help and troubleshoot for the people around me. I have an online-presence that satisfies most of my social needs and creative desires; and I operate better on the web than in person anyway.

I still want more than all that, all of what I have, but I could live this way, the no-frills way that I am, for a considerable time. I don't suffer the failing of my sister, who can't seem to bear living "alone," despite the presence of her two cats.

It's amazing to believe I'm into my third month. It really doesn't feel like three months. I'm satisfied, for now, at least. And for now, that's good enough.