Sunday, September 4, 2011

This Isn't A Crib, It's A Nest

It's reassuring to feel a pressure on my back when I sleep, and to have my body warmed even as cold air wafts across my face. I sleep on my side, unless under extenuating circumstances, and curl the sheet under my chin, bundled in my fist. My bed is a nest that holds me while my mind goes on journeys that my body has no invitation to. For once in my life, my bed is actually against a wall (never was at my folks' place because animals liked to sleep under it), but the wall is cold and unforgiving.

I have a stuffed leopard. I love my stuffed leopard, and I don't really care what anyone thinks of him. He used to spend nights at the foot of the bed, but now he spends them between me and the wall. He's a friendly presence, warming me as my own body warmth seeps into his stuffing. The only problem is that sometimes I turn, and have to sleep on my other side, and since he has no bone-structure or will of his own, it is difficult to wrestle him over to my other side. It requires me to wake up most of the way, if not all the way, and then I have to settle down again.

Getting to sleep is never easy for me in the first place, so if I don't have to wake up all the way, I will find a way around it.

In the past, I've used small pillows, but I only have one of those (and one over-sized), and they don't really serve the purpose. Living here, I decided to invest in a body pillow. I've had it for just a few nights and it makes all the difference in the world.

It helps with another problem too. Now, I don't have the best social life (actually, lately it's completely disappeared), but once in a while I feel the need to cuddle, snuggle with someone. These two pillows help satisfy that need, even though they can't sate it completely. It is better than nothing though, and definitely better that renting a place with someone else.