Sunday, April 29, 2012

Art Feature: My Head Doesn't Auto-Adjust

color-correct my monitor,
since I think I'm seeing red:
perhaps you may claim it's pink,
but that's not what I see instead.

give back my blue suede shoes,
give back my rug-lint jaw,
give back my CRT,
I know what I saw.

my skin will never be
pale as plaster, bright, or smooth:
I've gotten too many scars
from when I refuse to move.

I've been standing in this space too long,
my toes have taken root.
I'd prostrate myself to appeal to you,
but then I'd be underfoot.
"My Head Doesn't Auto-Adjust," 9 Jan 2011
Available on deviantArt

Sometimes I have a problem of seeing things that aren't there, reading too much into someone's body language when I'm really just out of practice. Sometimes I have a problem of not seeing things that are there, hand me a picture and my eyes can coalesce the separate swashes of color into people or things.

Sometimes I see exactly what's there, but that I shouldn't see, that people don't want to share, don't want others to know. Sometimes I can move fast enough to intervene, but most of the time I can't.

Sometimes I just stand there and take everything you can throw at me, and though I can feel your blows killing me a little bit at a time, I know better than to try to get away. Sometimes, this pain is exactly what I need to stay alive.