Sunday, May 20, 2012

Art Feature: One Day Is All I Ask

here I stand
alone again
wishin on stars
that aren't there
smilin at thoughts
that aren't real
the cold moon
stares down
and makes my tears
sparkle like silver
but I'm still alone...

If I ever knew
where I was
if I ever saw
where you were
if I ever could
I'd touch the stars
but one day
is all I want
to say goodbye...
"One Day Is All I Ask" by Catherine Becker
Complete poem not currently available

I've mentioned before, not here but in other places, that I have so much saved from my first relationship. Of all the relationships I've had, the first meant the most to me, and still does. It always will.

She was my first love, and I gauge love I feel for others against what I felt for her. It's not fair to them, but it's all I've got.

I've also mentioned that I have the rights to publish her art (giving proper attribution, of course; I would never claim her art as my own or vice versa). She entrusted these files to me, to keep and to keep safe, and that's exactly what I've done. Most of what she created still has yet to see the light of day since her online accounts went quiet.

I can still see her climbing out of my car on the last day I saw her. She claimed she felt no pain, but all I wanted was to pull her back, take back all those words... She has just suffered a terrible loss, and I wanted to take her away for the day, give her relief and solace.

But I didn't.

She's touching the stars now, and I'm still earthbound. We had our goodbyes that morning, but I want to do it properly, not while driving, not while leaning over the center console of a car.

Spinning around
in nothing but blue
and silver tears
of my won
Fallin down
screaming silently
lost forever...