Sunday, December 21, 2014

Fake-Real Universal

"Instead of sitting at a table, we do it for real."
"For fake."
"Fake-real dude. Don't mess with me."
 - Hung and Joe from "Knights of Badassdom"

There's no such thing as a universal remote. I know universal technically means "works for everything," but it really doesn't do the full job.

Some people (especially customers at work) seem to enjoy giving me trouble for this, and I assure you, it's not a problem with language, it's a problem with technology. Since every television manufacturer feels the need to program their remotes slightly differently, there are only so many different ways a non-smart remote can be programmed. I even have a smart-remote app build into my cell phone, and it still isn't truly universal. (Naturally, my television at home is one of those strange brands the just doesn't happen to be popular enough, or have paid the developers enough, in order to have made the cut.)

It's just like idiot-proof, hacker-proof, or water-proof. It's really just idiot- hacker-, or water-resistant to a far enough extent that you might as well call it proof, because the majority of the population wouldn't be in a state to push it to the limit.

It's not real-universal, it's not fake-universal (because that would be false advertising): it's fake-real universal.