Sunday, March 15, 2020

PSA: You Are Idiots (most of you)

This whole pandemic thing couldn't have come at a worse time. I mean, for the scheduling of my blog posts; that's probably about as selfish as I can get. This week I was supposed to be informing anyone who hadn't noticed about a change I made--a fairly significant one--back in early February--but because I had all my Feb posts worked out in advance, and they needed to go out either in a certain order or on a certain day, this was going to be the first day I could squeeze it in.

Now, though, it's been pushed back again, and not to next week (because I have a calendar-specific post) but to the following week, which disturbs something I wrote last year that was intended to be on the Sundays (it's a two-parter) around April first (April fools) because it's something so bizarre that I don't know what I was thinking so the best time to post them is around April first.

Those two have been moved back to the Sundays around May first, and will probably get pushed back to next year around the first of April. They aren't... important to me; they don't share a message that I think needed to be said, but I wrote them in a weird state of mind and still managed to put a fair amount of thought and work into them; and I don't want the effort to go to waste, unlike so many of the of half-finished ideas in my drafts queue.

But this PSA needed to be said.


What the hell are you thinking? The world isn't ending. The world out there, it's like Y2K and 9/11 and the archduke assassination rolled into one.

For one, diarrhea is not a side-effect of the virus; you don't need to stockpile toilet paper. The world economy isn't going to crash. We've come a long way from the Black Plague, and if you want proof, look for news reports of people killing cats.

By all reports, this is a natural evolution of a virus that already existed. If anything, it's one more way of the Earth telling us that's we're doing too much damage to her.

The most recent numbers I've seen about mortality rate is two percent. That's a far cry from Thanos's fifty percent. Sure, it might be twenty times the influenza mortality rate, but there are a host of relatively common elective medical procedures that nobody worries about that are significantly higher than that. Hell, depending on what numbers you look at, the mortality rate for obesity is between 2[1] and 18[2] percent.

Okay, enough about that. Let's talk about keeping yourself safe, because what most of you are doing... isn't.

I'm not locked in here with you, you're locked in here with me.

Rorschach, Watchmen, 2009
Most of the face masks you folks bought, they're intended for single-use only. They also only work if you actually breathe through them. Just having one covering your mouth while you breathe though your nose... seriously? You might as well just wear a scarf. On top of that, the CDC doesn't recommend face or surgical masks as a prevention against getting the disease! They only recommend them for use by infected individuals when they leave isolation.[3] So all this panic buying of masks... you're just making it harder for the ill to protect themselves from spreading it to you, and not actually protecting yourself from them.

As for the whole glove thing... the gloves don't disinfect as you go. They're not "virus repellant" or anything like that. If you touch your face with your gloved hands after touching a surface with the same glove, you might as well take them off. If you want to protect yourself from contact with anything on a surface by wearing gloves, then you need to take your gloves off before touching your face. The way you're acting now, you might as well lick the packaging of whatever it is that you're fondling with your gloved hands, while wearing said gloves; they're not protecting your tongue!

And after this is all over, if you get sick, you'll blame it on the PPE[4], not your own misunderstanding of how to use it. Honestly, this world could stand to lose two percent of the idiots.

Personally, I'm not worried. Most of my lifestyle already involves self-isolation. On top of that, one of the first symptoms is fever, and I already covered how often I check my body temperature.


Citations and Footnotes:
  4. Personal Protective Equipment