Sunday, June 21, 2020

Not Happy, Just Pride

It's Pride Month, though I hesitate to wish anybody a "Happy" Pride month. It's a turbulent time for lots of people, and hardly joyous for any of them.

I'm pretty fortunate. I'm still employed. I'm out and open about my sexuality. My income is more than my expenses. I made a risky gamble back in late March/early April, and it looks like it's going to pay off profitably.

I identify as bisexual. I live in an area and grew up in a family that judged you more by your character than how you looked, how you dressed, how much money you had, or who you were attracted to.

The most discrimination I've gotten for my orientation is from the gay community. That's because my sexuality, like my disabilities, are pretty invisible: just looking at me, you'd never know. The only people who really know about my issues with carpal tunnel or depression have been with my through the difficult periods; and yes, I have some coworkers and managers who've been there, who know and understand.

Likewise, my sexuality is fairly "invisible"; as a man, I could fall in love with a woman. That wouldn't change my identity, I can still be bisexual even though I'd be in a heterosexual relationship; but it would change the outward perception of my identity, what people see and think when they see my walking down the street with my significant other. Most people make snap stereotypes; a man and a man holding hands walking together, they assume they're both gay; a man and a woman holding hands walking together, they assume they're both straight.

In an ideal world, the only stereotype that would be made is that they're in a relationship, but there's scarce little turbulence in an "ideal world", it's quite clear we don't live in one.